It's time to take life back again.

It's been a while since I have posted anything on this blog. Last time I tried to keep up with posts was when I was starting my fitness journey over again. Well, obviously that didn't last long. Shortly after I started changing things in my life, my life started changing again. My uncle passed away, then I received a throat injury that kept me from working out, then my back hit issues again. So it seemed like I was back on the road to getting nothing done with my weight. In fact that was true. Over the last year I have tried to work out, but haven't had the best of luck as everything I work out, it caused my back to flare up again.

Last Summer when I got into my apartment, I got my weight down to 302 LBS. I was sure this time was going to be when I finally made it back into the 200's. However, like clockwork, my back started giving me issues. I look at the scale today and it reads 323 LBS. It's my fault, I currently have no self control over what I put in my body. When I lost weight the first time, my self control was one of the things that I prided myself in. Sure it was hard at first to change, but after a couple of weeks it was easy. But all that was in 2010, there were less convenient things online. We didn't have a ton of food delivery options. I was strict with my diet and only put food in that my body could use as fuel. Now however, that is not the case. Now I use DoorDash several times a week, I get Shakeology, but rarely drink it out of the convenience of my work cafeteria. But that is all going to change.

I've neglected my body for too long now. I remember when I got down to 197 LBS, I vowed to never get fat again. I let myself down. In the last few years I have been sick a lot (Something that my mom likes to point out). So now I am starting to workout again, starting with light workouts and hopefully easing back into serious workouts. I have to start retraining my back and strengthening my back. When I can I am going to walk more and do more cardio. I am starting back up on my supplement regimen to make sure I am getting all the nutrients that my body needs.

I am also working on being super transparent on my Instagram and IGTV page. I want people to see my successes, but I also want to show the real struggles and failures. There will be failures, and that is ok. I am looking for support too. When I lost weight the first time, I had the Brightkite community to cheer me on. We were a close community and I made several friends on there, but after Brightkite changed and ultimately sold off, that closeness diminished and spread out amongst the normal social media world.

I am going to work on posting updates here, but be sure to follow me on Instagram @LargetoinCharge for up to the minute updates, and feel free to DM me and have a conversation.  

It doesn't get easier

I know, that isn't really a reassuring title for a post that should be motivating. But this isn't really a motivating post. This is about the cold hard facts of being on your journey to being healthy. This is about the obstacles that are out there when coming from the side of food addiction. If you are trying to lose weight, then you likely have a relationship with food other than just to live.

Just think about other addictions out there be it alcohol or nicotine. When you decide to quit, you can actually separate yourself from those temptations. Sure, you are still going to crave those things for a while, but you don't actually have to be around them. Well that is unless you like to torture yourself. But when it comes to food addiction, you can't not be around food. You have to have food to survive. Over the years you have probably used food for many purposes. I completely understand that too. Food can be used for comfort, celebration or just pure enjoyment. Somewhere in our history, we linked other things to food besides survival.

Sure, we still eat to survive, we don't have a choice there. But do we really need chocolate cake or cookies? What about pizza or gourmet hamburgers? Now I am not saying that you have to leave all those things behind. Heck, I like to enjoy some oreos, ice cream, pizza and burgers every single week. But those cheats make it very easy to fall off the wagon and re-link food to enjoyment and not survival. The link will never go away. We can't separate ourselves from it, and it's a constant struggle.

I really wish I could tell you that it gets easier as you go, but it doesn't. All I can recommend is for you not to completely deprive yourself of these foods, but limit them to just one time a week or every other week. Like stated above, even one cheat meal can throw you back into a downward spiral. Remember to eat to fuel your body. Plus, eating to fuel your body doesn't have to be gross bland food, you can make it taste good, and something that you might enjoy. You don't have to have chicken and rice everyday, change it up, use spices and seasoning. Don't be afraid of salt either. Often times when you remove all salt, your body starts to crave things, and then you will binge on different unhealthy items just to try and satisfy that craving. Keep you diet balanced and keep positive.

Hitting the mark

One thing we often do in life is set high goal for ourselves. We will set goals that we know we can't achieve, just for the reason to fail. Think about it for a minute. If you fail, most times you won't try again. This is our way of saying we did something and moving on. But what if we kept striving to accomplish our goals?

 

That's what I did when embarking on my weight loss journey. I set a near impossible goal of losing 30 lbs in one month. But I kept pushing. That fire from that goal kept burning inside me. I kept pushing and pushing. Now look at me, I have lost 140 lbs and I feel great. Think about that next time you are satisfied or are ready to quit. It's all about pushing yourself. Don't take failure in stride, strive to always do better. Never be satisfied with accomplishing something, you can always do better, push hard, play harder!